Thornwaldt Cysts & Lungs

I know... that's a very weird title... but, soon I should be having surgery to remove one of those cysts from the base of my nasal canal. And, both the ENT doctor, and myself, are optimistic that this may be causing a lot of my symptoms - dizziness, blurred vision, headaches - so, I am excited! He says that it's a simple surgery, much like having your adenoids removed.
Also, the heart doctor and I talked at my follow-up, when she suggested I go see a pulmonary specialist (lung doctor), and I now understand that I might have scarring on my lungs (minor) causing this shortness of breath. And, if that's the case, I could very well just need some asthma medication and be rid of that problem too!!
So, for the first time in a long time, I am optimistic about my health.
Oh the nerve pain, and muscle pain, will still be there and I'll have to continue seeing a neurologist to see if they can help --- but, that I'm used to. I've been dealing with that for years. This other stuff was a bit scary for me.
Well... need to get ready for the beach!!! :)

It's So Quiet!!!

Yesterday I took Hunter and Megan to Greenville, and met Tom so that he could take them down to where he is living near Fayetteville. Megan will spend most of her summer there or with her Grandma, while at some point coming here for a week or two also. Hunter will spend a week and a half there, then go to Herbert's house for two weeks.
So, the only kid here right now is Emma.... the house is so quiet.... it's unbelievable!! I do miss the kids! I even miss their Chaos a bit :) But we (my parents and I) needed this rest. We needed this peace and quiet for a bit. I'm so tired.
Emma will go visit her Dad for a few weekends when he is off work so that he can keep her. I'm not sure when that will be. Then the house will really be quiet!!
Today, Emma and I are meeting Gail Jones at the beach! We are looking forward to it very much!! I plan to spend a lot of time at the beach, and I'm looking forward to doing so with lots of friends and family. It's a great way to spend time with people I care about. Everyone loves the beach!!

Soaking up the Sun!

A few nights ago I went walking on the beach. It's been a long time since I've done that. It was such a clear and beautiful night. The stars and the ocean were absolutely beautiful. Being there brought such peace to my soul and just reminded me of the beauty that God gave us here on this earth. There may be a lot of pain and sorrow in this world, but He created so much beauty here in nature and peace can be found there.
Yesterday, I spent most of the day on the beach with Hunter and Megan. We soaked up the sun, played in the ocean. It was great! The sun and sand can really refresh your soul!! I am so glad I live on the coast.
My Dad sold his boat today.... We had planned a boat ride this afternoon, and of course, that's out of the question since they're picking up the boat as I type this. So, no more boat rides for a while. I plan to spend as much time as I can at the beach. I think it's good for all of us.
If you haven't been to the beach lately, go and soak up the sun! God created this beauty for us to enjoy!
God Bless You!
Amy

Reminders...

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and He rescues those whose spirits are crushed." ~ Psalm 34:18

Sometimes we need reminders. Sometimes our hearts grow stronger each day and things like our health or a setback of some kind will send us spiraling down to somewhere we had come a long way from.
I believe the steriod medicine they gave me actually helped me healthwise... I've been feeling better these last few days. That's been great! :)
But, emotionally right now I'm not where I want to be. A few different things have set me back. So, I'm looking back at that verse... my reminder, that the Lord is right here close with me. He knows I remain brokenhearted. He knows my spirit has been crushed. He knows that I need comforting daily, how lonely I feel. And, He is right there with me.
So tonight, I'm taking a few moments to look back at that reminder... I may feel brokenhearted. But Christ owns my heart and because of that I know that even though it feels broken it's not. That's because He made it whole again.

Love in Christ,
Amy

Busy, Busy, Busy!

Well, lets see. I have the new job... I'm working as the Pastors secretary at Bethany United Methodist Church. It's part-time, and I'm enjoying it very much. Not many in the church membership and community know that I'm here yet, so the phone doesn't ring much... I don't have much to do yet. But, I'm here... trying to get everyone used to knowing I will be here Monday, Wednesday and Friday so they can access the church, the minister (through me) or get help if needed.
I'm really enjoying the job. Pastor Jerome has a lot in mind for things he wants to implement in the church and bring us "up-to-date" so to speak.... The new Associate Pastor, Samuel, is also here now for the summer. I am enjoying working with him a bit too. The people here are great, and the hours are wonderful... It allows me to have time to rest so that my health doesn't get in bad shape, and I'm sitting down most of the time, not exerting myself - which causes all my health problems to act up!
So Praise the Lord!!!! He has been looking out for me!!
I have an appointment next week with an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor. I will have him check my sinuses and the Thornwaldt cyst at the base of my nasal canal. If these have anything to do with my dizziness, blurred vision, shortness of breath, etc.... hopefully he can help me.
The following week I will see both my Neurologist (about the nerve pain, headaches, etc) and a Pulmonary specialist about the Shortness of Breath (possible asthma, or damage to my lungs).

So... all the bases are covered health-wise. I feel like I'm in good hands. The kids are out of school. Hunter graduated 8th grade on Wednesday night!! Emma finished her first year in preschool... and we are waiting, rather impatiently to learn if Megan passed her English exam. Both Hunter and Megan will be in high school. Emma has another year in preschool. All the kids are looking forward to a great summer. We have plans for the Zoo next week, the boat this weekend, the beach on Monday....

Also, we plan for Megan to get contacts this summer. She's been wanting them a long time. I think she's ready. Hunter may be getting a dirt bike.... his grandmother wants to buy it for him... we'll know in the next few weeks if that will work out. The older two kids will go to Tom on June 22nd. After that I won't see either of them for probably a month. I will miss them both. Emma will make some weekend visits to Tom, and also possibly with Kellie to Adams Creek.

As always.... one day at a time.
By God's grace,
Amy

Heart Catheterization

I have a healthy heart! :-) Dr. White performed my heart Cath at Albemarle Hospital. They had to give me 4x the amount of pain/sedative medicine they normally give because it caused so much pain in my leg... but I was "out of it" and don't remember much, until afterward. I don't remember the doctor at all.
Today (the day after), I have a very puffy face... apparently an allergic reaction to too much of that sedative... so, I had to go to Urgent Care and get methylprednisone (shot and 6-day pak) to boost the benedryl I had already taken. Hopefully my puffy face will look better tomorrow, as I'd like to go to church.
I'm to see the P.A. at Dr. White's office (Kim) on Friday to go over all the results and where to go from here. Dr. White mentioned to my parents the possibility of sending me to a pulmonary specialist.
Pastor Jerome called today. We've talked several times over the past few weeks. I haven't posted anything on here about our talks yet, just in case someone actually found my blog, because nothing's been finalized or made public yet. But, as it seems imminent, I guess it's ok. It looks like I'll have a part time job this week. The pastor, and his new intern need a new secretary. Looks like it just might be me.... if my health will permit it. So, God willing, that will all come about and I'll post more as it happens.
In the mean time.... PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a healthy heart!!!!!!!!
Amy

A Day With The Kids

We went to Aviation Day at the Manteo Airport. We (Megan, Hunter, Emma and I) took Gatlin, Scarlet's son, with us. We had an excellent time! Megan, Emma and Gatlin all flew for the first time ever on board a Cessna airplane. Hunter and Gatlin both helped to fly the plane!!
Hunter took a second ride on the Cessna. Megan and I opted to ride in a 1946 Waco Bi-plane. That was a truly awesome experience! The air on your face is just an indescribable feeling. Unexpectedly, the bi-plane felt more sturdy and solid beneath my feet. It was a smoother ride. Megan gave two thumbs up throughout the ride... she loved it!
Emma and Gatlin climbed all over the airport fire truck. Brian Mitchell, who works at the airport, let Megan and the little ones ride with him across the airport grounds in the truck, and help to drive the truck! Emma and Gatlin were so excited.
Hunter and Megan took turns driving the airports little golf cart, with Emma and Gatlin on board. It was great! We all got a little sun sitting around waiting for our turns on flights. We had funnel cake.... oooh I love funnel cake!
I'm tired. And today (Sunday) I hurt. I knew I would. But, it is so worth it to have had such a fun day with the kids!

Amy

Health Issues

I've had a lot of questions about my health problems from people, and honestly there are more questions than answers. There are so many symptoms that I could fill a page with just those. I have a family doctor that I found last summer (Dr. Cara Sumner in Manteo), and I love her. She is so caring. She's helping me try to figure some of it out.
In the beginning of course, everyone assumed that it was related to stress, and I'm sure some of it was and is stress-related. But, I had health problems long before my husband startled me by telling me he was leaving. I've had health problems off and on for years, and it's not always at the times of worst stress. So, as I told my doctor, I know some of it isn't stress. I've been in therapy since a week after Tom left. After the holidays, Dr. Sumner had me begin physical therapy for my back to try and relieve some of those symptoms.
The following symptoms (which I've had for years), worsened, despite the easing of my stress, and my continued therapy. I was getting better emotionally, but not physically, so Dr. Sumner was pursuing MRI's and sending me to a Neurologist for these:
Headaches
Nerve pain (left side of body mostly)
numbness (left side of body mostly)
Back pain
Leg pain
Carpal tunnel issues (despite surgery in one wrist)
Occasional blurred vision

There are and have been other vague symptoms but those were the worst. The MRI showed that I have "mild cerebellar tonsilar ectopia" which is a doctor term for very mild "Chiari Syndrome" which basically means that my brain is slipping down beneath the skull bones in the back of my head. It rests on my spinal cord and puts pressure on it. How much, I don't know. I haven't seen the neurologist since I got these results (a source of aggrevation to me). The other finding on MRI was called a probable "Thornwaldt Cyst." That means that there is what appears to be a cyst at the base of my nasal passage.

I took the initiative on my own to make an appointment with an ENT (Ear Nose and Throat doctor) in Chesapeake. I chose Dr. Wood, who did Emma's Adenoidectomy last year. He was GREAT! I highly recommend him.

I guess it was around March I guess it was, my symptoms began to change and increase. I began having these episodes of blurred vision, headaches, dizziness, shortness of breath, loss of balance. I'd get pale and feel like I was going to pass out. I began having weird blood pressure and pulse rate changes. Like sinking to 80/50 when lying down, and just from standing up, it would go to 120/80 that quickly and my pulse rate would shoot to 130 and stay there a while... It was scary. If I exerted myself in any way, it exacerbated those symptoms.

So, I got had my B12 bloodwork tested, got a shot for having a B12 deficiency. Then, they gave me an EKG (which turned out good). Next, they sent me to a heart doctor. So, last week I had an echocardiogram (where they do an ultrasound of your heart) and I wore a heart monitor for 24 hours. Monday I will have a stress test, and then on Tuesday I see the Cardiologist for all those results.

Currently, I can't work my cleaning jobs like I should because of all these symptoms, so I sit at home a lot. That's driving me crazy. I have begun to get a cough with a hoarse throat that won't go away. The headache (which they won't give me pain medication that works to help it), has become unbearable sometimes.

That was a lot of information, but that's the background. Hopefully, I can keep future posts much, much shorter!! I wanted to type all this in, so that I can start typing shorter updates as they come for anyone who wants information updates.

God bless anyone who has the patience to read all this!!
Amy

Getting Started

"The Lord is Close to the Brokenhearted, and rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
Psalm 34:18

I found this verse last summer when I was at one of the lowest points of my life. My husband had recently left. I'd moved back in with my parents. I was lonely. My health was failing. Before my husband had left, I had given up my job so that I could spend more time with him and the kids (and because the job had become stressful with my health problems closing in). Everything that could go wrong, had gone wrong. I felt alone, unwanted and unhealthy. At 36 years old, I was sharing a room with my 3 year old daughter, who cried for her father every night. I'd gone through this ten years earlier with her brother, when his father had left. In a word, I felt abandoned.

I was crying one night and reading the Bible, as I often do late at night when I am low in spirit and feeling brokenhearted. Those exact words were in my thoughts as I randomly chose chapter 34 of Psalms to read, looking for comfort from the Lord. I found it in verse 18. My tears of loneliness and emptiness turned to tears of joy as I felt His comfort, as if He'd reached down and put His arms around me and said, "I'm here."

So, that's the first reason I named my blog "close to the brokenhearted." And, that is the reason that particular verse is the very first thing I shared. I believe it was the start of my healing process.

The second reason I named my blog "close to the brokenhearted," is because I want to help children who have been abused, and their parents who are trying to help them heal. I am step-mother to a very beautiful young lady who was abused by her biological mother. No one knew this when she came into my home. I spent several months trying to figure out just what was wrong before everything was filtered out slowly. The ramifications of that abuse were far-reaching. It affected my son, myself, my husband and others. I had to learn about helping children heal from abuse, the disorders and diagnoses that follow... It was a difficult time. But, what I learned about myself is that I have a talent for helping kids this way. And, I believe I have a calling from God to do it. So, this verse means more to me than just comfort from God for me. It also reminds me of the ways God wants to use me, by being "close to the brokenhearted," in helping them to heal, rescuing them if necessary...

I'm going back to school. I'm pursuing a Masters degree in Social Work so that I can go into private practice and counsel children who've been hurt. I'd also like to coach parents who are hurting and don't know where to turn. I know how hard it was for me. When you're hurting for your child and for yourself it's hard to be objective, to do research and learn. It helps to have someone guide you through, to be close by and lend a hand... to care. That's what I want to do.

On another day, I'll write about my health issues and about school so far. But, I wanted to write about what my thoughts were in starting this blog, and why I chose that name first. Every day is a new adventure, a new opportunity to present Christ to the world, to help others.... to do good... I only hope that somehow I am able to get past my own broken heart to see the need in others and be there when I am needed.

May God bless and keep you,
Amy